isn't she lovely?

yesterday i got pulled over by a grand prairie police officer ... and it was largely uneventful.

with the current state of police relations, we often see the varying extremes of interactions with the police. -- those very damaging exchanges where some unarmed person ends up dead or the really heartwarming experiences that make us smile and maybe even laugh. those make the news because they are ... well, newsworthy.

i don't get pulled over often. and before yesterday, my last experience with a dfw-area police officer in 2012 wasn't the most pleasant. (as a side note, i just re-read this post and realized i got pulled over about three years ago for the same thing sandra bland was killed for in 2015. re-reading that was more than sobering.)

except from 3/21/12:

about two weeks ago i was stopped in irving because i looked suspicious driving the lexus i own and drive daily in dfw. the police officer pulled me over for allegedly not signaling as i changed lanes (i am pretty sure i did, but even if i didn't, no one gives tickets for that in dfw). once stopped he proceeded to question me about where i was going (home), who i was following (no one) and if my name was really melyssa (yes, that is my legal name on my birth certificate and everything). once i showed him my credentials he let me go with a simple, "drive safe!"

fast-forward to 2017. my niece and i were driving home from dallas. i had helped out at her school field trip at the perot museum. yes, me, the PANK, with a group of 9 and 10 year old girls. do i really have to tell you how tired i was?

so, i'm cruising down i-20, and i guess i was cruising a little too fast. the gppd pulled me over for going about 10 miles over the speed limit. i really felt like i was going with the flow of traffic, but again, i was exhausted, so i probably wasn't at peak awareness. as he pulled me over, he communicated with me through the passenger window so as to keep himself out of harm's way. i already had my credentials out when he approached. he asked me where i was going, and i told him, "i'm headed home. i have my niece in the back (pointing to her as she waves from the back seat) and we are heading home from her school field trip at the perot museum." he explains why he has pulled me over. i reply, "ok. i felt like i was going with the flow of traffic. but ok."

he goes back to his car and returns after a few minutes. and he says, "can you roll down the passenger window?" to which i just kinda gave him this look like, "why?" and then he said, "is it ok if i give your niece a sticker?" and i said, "oh! sure, of course." so, he gave her the sticker and he gave me a warning. and all was right with the world. not because i didn't get a ticket (if you read my 2012 post, i didn't get a ticket then either). all was right with the world because we communicated with MUTUAL respect. even if i had received a ticket yesterday, that would have been a fair experience.

for me, both events will remain etched in my memory for years to come (partly because i've memorialized them on this blog.) and this is because your actions and your words matter. but what's even better is my 10-year old niece witnessed a positive exchange, which will shape her experiences as she gets older.

so, yesterday was no big deal. it's probably not even worth a blog post, but i wanted to share because as with most things in life we tend to accentuate the very positive or the very negative and the everyday run-of-the-mills things often get overlooked.

yesterday was a good, uneventful day.

"george bush doesn't care about black people." 

last night as i watched the largely unsurprising grand jury verdict unfold and as i listened to the smug allegations and rationale made by the ferguson prosecutor, i was saddened. then, like a lot of people, i logged on to various social media accounts, and i was even more saddened. many people were encouraging others to get registered to vote to help affect change. and by and large, the overwhelming response was that voting is pointless.

i refuse to believe this. change does happen in this country. we are far from where we need to be, but we are not where we used to be. and that is because of many before us who constructively protested, worked with others to push for changes, and ... voted. frankly, we cannot win by doing what the media portrays. the looting, the breaking of windows, the fighting - that will get us nowhere. we've got to learn "their" game, get in it, and play it to our advantage.

that includes voting.

that includes communicating with our dollar.

that includes writing to local politicians.

sadly, that means we have to tell our children that, today, their lives mean less.

that means we have to prepare ourselves and our children for the very real possibility that when we leave our homes, we may be slaughtered.

but i do believe we can change the climate by playing the game and beating "them" at it.

"george bush doesn't care about black people." we all remember who said that little phrase. the reality of the matter is black people don't care about black people. we know better. we have more tools now. we must do better. because waiting for "them" to do better on "their" own is not living our lives to the fullest, which is what we are called to do.

stop hurting your own community. be different.

just kidding, but you know what they say. in every joke is a little nugget of truth. early voting has started in texas. i performed my civic duty this morning, and i hope you will too. be sure to vote for the right guy though.

obama might be leading, but you still need to get out and vote. no one can afford to stay home on nov. 4th. in fact, go vote early if you can!

another black man pulled from the church, which, ironically, is exactly where we need him to be. what a sad day.

"If your candidacy is going to be about words then they should be your own words," she said. "...Lifting whole passages from someone else's speeches is not change you can believe in, it's change you can Xerox." - Hillary Rodham Clinton

i vividly remember from my communication law days in college that xerox fought aggressively to eliminate the use of their trademarked company name as a verb. the premise was that they did not want the term to become a generic word such as band-aid (note: when you buy the generic kind at walgreens, it's an adhesive bandage, not a band -aid).

i just find it kind of ironic that clinton would use the term in this manner, especially when referencing and attacking obama's word usage and potential plagiarism. if memory serves me correctly, she went to law school. perhaps she didn't specialize in comm law. but she should know better.

and for inquiring minds, the appropriate usage would have been "copy" or "photocopy," but i suppose the rhythmic value of her statement would have been lost if she would have watched her words.

ok, i've quietly sat by and refrained from making any comments about the current presidential race, but silence i can no longer keep.

bill clinton - while very charismatic and obviously successful in winning two presidential elections -- he is not america's first black president, and he is not running in 2008. hillary is. i think it is ridiculous that he has taken such a dominant position in her campaign. for someone who is trying to become the first female president, she sure is relying on her husband a lot. as a woman, she should be able to stand on her own two. if she's gonna play with the big boys, she needs to do it independent of her husband's political status.

bob johnson - i support the right for each and every eligible american citizen to vote for their candidate of choice. and no matter how much emphasis the media try to place on race, african americans (the author of this blog in particular) are capable of researching the issues and candidates, then making an educated decision. (and one a sidenote, every eligible african american should be researching and voting, if only to honor those who fought and died for us to have this opportunity). however, for bob johnson to think that bill and hillary are "deeply and emotionally involved in black issues" may be a bit of a stretch from reality. in this america obama is seen as a black man by most. and his experiences as a "black" man are more similar to the the black population at large. bill and hillary can sympathize all campaign, but they can never truly walk in a black person's shoes.

race - the election should be about the issues. i would think after all these years of struggle, we have moved beyond the color of one's skin and onto the content of one's character. but perhaps i'm just another clueless african american woman who must decide to vote based solely on race or gender rather than choosing the best candidate.

we are at an awesome point in history that both a woman and an african american can have a viable chance at becoming america's next president. let's not relegate the presidential race to gender and race. let's focus on the real, pressing issues at hand - and there are many on which to focus.