isn't she lovely?

Image credit: koratmember

i'm the first to admit, i have had a tumultuous love life. marked by varying highs and lows, my roller coaster romances have ranged from finding "the one" to compromising my standards to getting dumped. for the most part, i've tried to keep a positive outlook about it. i won't lie, i've had my low moments. i've had ally mcbeal visions of running some of those uncommitted partners over with my car. (my psa - it's not nice or christianly to run anyone over with a car.)

i used to make illogical correlations and label them as "signs" that the current relationship prospect was my first last. because i am no stranger to hard work in my school and professional careers, i'd apply the same work ethic to my romantic relationships. i'd work hard to compromise my personality and my habits to fit in with the guy's needs. i'd work doubly hard to try and communicate, often over communicating. i'd work three times as hard to ensure that the guy was happy. when the truth is a person cannot make another person happy. they must be independently happy. and love does not equal work. love is not work at all.

in november, i reconnected with, as 'they' say, an old flame. one of those previously mentioned "bad guys." time really does heal wounds, people can change and life experiences give us all perspective. when you are with the right person, the relationship is not hard. you don't have to compromise who you are. you are just you and he is just him. i believe that is the essence of a soul mate. and i am more sure than ever that i have finally found mine. i look forward to the love that's budded blossoming into something beautiful for months, years and decades to come. but for now, i am enjoying this moment and it is good.