when i was little, 14 was my favorite number. i don't know why. there's really no significance to it. my birthday is on the 7th. my 14th year of life wasn't stand out. i just have always liked the number. as i approached this year, 2014, i really didn't have outrageous expectations - health and happiness, i guess. but i guess in the back of my mind, i hoped it would be a stellar year since it was 20-fourteen.
i've always enjoyed music. as i approached my 30s, i really expanded my tastes. this year, i discovered spotify, and some songs bookmarked this year.
problem (ariana grande) - at the beginning of the year, i decided it was ok for a person of my age to like the disney star. my 8-year old niece likes her too. i don't know if it's because they share the same name or her music is that good. but this song really spoke to me as i officially got over a toxic 2013 relationship. yes, i had about four less problems as a result. and it was already getting better.
ain't it fun (paramore) - this song reminds me of road-trippin' with my sis. we took a family vacay to south texas, and this became our theme song that memorial day weekend... and every time we got in the car together thereafter ...
girls chase boys (ingrid michaelson) - on that same road trip, we stopped at a boardwalk carnival. while there my mom briefly lost then found her phone. we road some rides and ate some treats. during those very happy moments ingrid's song was blasting over the loud speakers, we were all so happy. the found phone, the fun trip, just great family time. the calm before the storm.
then, for a few months, it got quiet for me. my aunt died. my grandmothers became ill. and people who i thought were my closest friends (and family members too) failed to show up when they were needed. it was a dark and disappointing time. while the music continued for others, it was eerily quiet for me.
i found the music again later in the year, and an old song was made new again.
lucky (spotify session version by jason mraz and raining jane) - the grandmas got well. the intense mourning for my aunt lessened, and things seemed to be getting better. i got a professional boost by attending a conference in austin. we celebrated halloween. it was a fun time. i felt ... lucky.
then in november, our beloved family pet of 18.5 years, sande, died. she lived a long, full life. but it still hurt, in some ways more than the loss of my aunt. not surprisingly, the silence resumed. but, i pushed through thanksgiving.
in december, i decided to choose happiness and to uncover joy. i made a decision to focus on the positive. as such, at the beginning of 2015, i will use this blog to publish messages of joy, hope and love. because i decided i'm going to be ok like chrisette michele said, "i'mma drive my lexus to the mall; get a little black dress just because" and then i'm going to put my little black dress on (sara bareilles), and "put on my favorite song, tell myself there's nothing wrong. this does not have to be a sad song." and it's not a sad song. i'm going to be happy because i believe i can choose happiness. this doesn't mean there are no dark days. it means that i realize there must be dark to recognize light. the show must go on. and that's just what happens. life goes on. and so will i.
so, here's to 2015! i'm hopeful that it will bring more smiles and laughter than tears and jeers. and maybe 15 will be my new favorite number. or maybe numbers won't matter anymore. life is really about the quality not the quanity. and please, please don't stop the music!
i've always enjoyed music. as i approached my 30s, i really expanded my tastes. this year, i discovered spotify, and some songs bookmarked this year.
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| image credit: wikipedia.org |
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| image credit: paramore.net |
ain't it fun (paramore) - this song reminds me of road-trippin' with my sis. we took a family vacay to south texas, and this became our theme song that memorial day weekend... and every time we got in the car together thereafter ...
 |
| image credit: ingridmichaelson.com |
girls chase boys (ingrid michaelson) - on that same road trip, we stopped at a boardwalk carnival. while there my mom briefly lost then found her phone. we road some rides and ate some treats. during those very happy moments ingrid's song was blasting over the loud speakers, we were all so happy. the found phone, the fun trip, just great family time. the calm before the storm.
then, for a few months, it got quiet for me. my aunt died. my grandmothers became ill. and people who i thought were my closest friends (and family members too) failed to show up when they were needed. it was a dark and disappointing time. while the music continued for others, it was eerily quiet for me.
i found the music again later in the year, and an old song was made new again.
 |
| image credit: jasonmraz.com |
then in november, our beloved family pet of 18.5 years, sande, died. she lived a long, full life. but it still hurt, in some ways more than the loss of my aunt. not surprisingly, the silence resumed. but, i pushed through thanksgiving.
in december, i decided to choose happiness and to uncover joy. i made a decision to focus on the positive. as such, at the beginning of 2015, i will use this blog to publish messages of joy, hope and love. because i decided i'm going to be ok like chrisette michele said, "i'mma drive my lexus to the mall; get a little black dress just because" and then i'm going to put my little black dress on (sara bareilles), and "put on my favorite song, tell myself there's nothing wrong. this does not have to be a sad song." and it's not a sad song. i'm going to be happy because i believe i can choose happiness. this doesn't mean there are no dark days. it means that i realize there must be dark to recognize light. the show must go on. and that's just what happens. life goes on. and so will i.
so, here's to 2015! i'm hopeful that it will bring more smiles and laughter than tears and jeers. and maybe 15 will be my new favorite number. or maybe numbers won't matter anymore. life is really about the quality not the quanity. and please, please don't stop the music!
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